Don't get it twisted, there is a huge difference between pleasure, and fun. Deep dish pizza tastes HELLA GOOD! And is very pleasurable, however it is in no way fun to eat. We have a habit of exaggerating our experiences in order to validate ourselves. Because if our sex isn't everything, than people will assume there must be something wrong with us. We try to associate our sexual experiences with everything positive, love, fun, crazy, passion, etc. etc. When the reality for most is it was just numbing pleasure, that was easily forgettable. Because, when we aren't comfortable enough with our partner to communicate our needs, boundaries, and just be engaged and present in our bodies - we won't feel safe enough to let go and be ourselves. And if we aren't safe, we're not free, and if we're not free we're not present, and if we're not present we're not engaged, and if we're not engaged we're not in the mental state to experience fun. Shit most people are too fixated on the sex resembling something they've seen in a movie, that they are afraid to kill the mood by communicating their needs. Or we allow our fantasies to become boxes that we always try to recreate, at the expense of being in the moment with our partner.
The best way to make sex fun, is to first agree your both free to have fun and let go of your expectations, your fantasies, and be present with each other. Communication is key, set shared intentions, and don't take sex too seriously. Find ways to be comfortable in your naked bodies with each other, and be spontaneous, not sexy, be curious, not dominant. Try not to play out the general sex roles we we put ourselves in, and just be present, with the intention to have fun.
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