Couldn’t wait to get my paws on my new 🌈 swag!!
#celebratediversity#lovewins🌈 #twomomsarebetterthanone#lgbtq🌈 #pride🌈
I am thankful for the ability to love unconditionally and accept the differences in others that make us uniquely beautiful!
My family is made up of two moms of different races and different faiths and we celebrate our diversity!
We are thankful for companies like @rainbowspotbox that spread love and acceptance!! $2.00 from every box goes to the @trevorproject The leading national organization Providing intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ & Youth.
#lovewins🌈 bandana @woofoutwest
first - i’m fine. ☺️
this was me 3 years ago.
second - i’m so glad it’s not 3 years ago anymore. this picture was taken only a few hours after i had a massive panic attack.
it was late december 2015. gena and I were still planning for me to get pregnant first. there was no IVF plans or gena getting pregnant plans. and I was happy about it and excited about it - until things started to go really badly.
I had started lowering my anxiety meds in july - very slowly and steadily - and all was well - in fact all was great - until it wasn’t.
there came a time when I must have crossed some sort of threshold and the panic attacks came out like wildfires. a day before this picture was taken, I had my first major attack while driving by myself. the day this pic was taken I had another major one - like 100% convinced i’m dying, about to call my therapist on her cell phone - on the way to getting a minor standard procedure done to prep for pregnancy.
two weeks and way too many panic attacks later, gena and I decided to go the reciprocal IVF route - because nothing, not even my dream of carrying a baby, was worth compromising my mental health.
today, we’re at the same surgical center again because gena is having the same procedure done that I was having done when this picture was taken. and i’m sitting in the waiting room, and guys, i’m effing giddy. i’m so grateful to be where I am today. i’m so grateful for my bravery and gena’s generosity. i’m so grateful for parker pie. i’m so grateful that I feel epically considerably calmer in my mind and safer in my body. i’m so grateful for zoloft and ativan and therapy and time and compassion - from myself and others - and deep breaths and transcendental meditation and finally, almost 3 years later, feeling like i’m really myself again.
there’s so much to take away from this time in my life - so many lessons and important reminders - but I think the one thing I really want to share today is this: there is nothing shame-worthy about the anxiety you feel. you might carry so much shame with you - I know I did. but the best thing you can give yourself during the hard times is love. big heaps of cozy love.
Working from home, behind a computer screen, that’s where I’m the most comfortable.
Every word can be changed or fixed to fit my idea of perfection, every video edited to look and sound just right; it’s safe and I’m sure and we have built an incredible business from there.
When asked to teach on stage for the first time, at a company event, to a couple of thousand people, my heart dropped directly to the bottom side of my belly button and stayed there.
Public speaking, IN PERSON, terrified me (okay terrifies, but it’s getting less and less scary the more I do it, success leaves clues kaaaay). Listen I am talking cold sweats, heart palpitations, overwhelming and consuming anxiety. F E A R.
So, feeling like I might actually throw up,
I closed my eyes and 54321, I said yes. I taught what I know to be true and valuable from that stage, to a room of two thousand people not because I was comfortable and confident- but because I wasn’t. And in that discomfort, I have found that LITERALLY all of the growth and magic that we are all seeking... it’s like a buried treasure waiting there.
A dear friend once told me, “don’t worry about what you’re going to say, think about what they need to hear. It isn’t about you, it’s about them. Go from your heart.” If you’re building something, anything worth having— go directly after the things that make you uncomfortable. Because look, if you only do what you can do, how will you ever be more than you are. 🌱
our sweet baby Rio scared the shit out of us today. Her sweet eye woke up swollen and badly infected. She wears prosthetics in her eyes and we have never been able to take them out on our own. Whenever there was an issue we had to go to the Occularist to save the day and remove them. Being able to take care of your kid is everything when you can’t meet all there needs you feel helpless and hopeless and it’s a shitty feeling.. but today was different and we fucking got that sucker out!! It took a team but we did it ourselves and will do it ourselves from now own! This is a huge accomplishment for us you have no idea!! Vickie and I hugged each other after she got it out we rejoiced like we won the fucking lotto. My sweet Rio...we love you so much!! #twomomsarebetterthanone#twomoms#blindbaby#downsyndrome